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The Great Kale Experiment

raw kale

Why Kale? I love cooking and trying new foods, sometimes to the detriment of my family and friends. I think my palette is different and it does not like to be bored. My palette is its own entity controlled by weird and wonderful tastes and emotions. One could say my palette is an acquired taste. I have decided that, besides my fascination with all things trending in food, my palette is making me a bit of a foodie outcast.

On advice I am going to start with the basics again instead of going straight to making kimchi. Firstly, because not a lot is known about this superfood and then to top it off I do not have many taste testers knocking down my door. So maybe I need to start with more basic South African ingredients and experience that first. I do find myself drawing the line at “walkie talkies” I know what they are but have no desire to cross that road.

My Introduction To Cooking

I au paired for an amazing lady who taught me so much about cooking and the basics of following a recipe. This is a massive accomplishment as do not, and I repeat, do not make me follow instructions. Somehow my brain decides it really wants to give me extra challenges so I pay more attention to looking like I am paying attention than anything else. That and I found out I failed at following the basic instructions on making 2 minute noodles also known as ramen noodles. All these years it is spice after cooking the noodles and not before.

In my Pinterest perfect life, I have stumbled upon kale time and time again. This mysterious food is popping up everywhere and I feel myself once again drawn to a foodie fad fomo emotion. I decided it was time.

Time to kale.

With my grocery shopping list in hand, I went on a kale mission. I was going to buy this green product and I was going to make it and I was going to make my family eat it. And I would sit back in super-mom glory as I had made an enjoyable superfood that my family loved. My family and I were going to be kick-started into the ever-elusive goal of healthy eating and this was going to be the food that made it happen! Smoothies … you name it. We were grabbing the healthy way of life once and for all. With my never-ending recipes, I was going to be the kale Queen.

Shopping For Kale

As I entered the grocery shop the produce was on the left and I reached out for a packet of kale and started working my way through my list. It was one of those super domestic goddess days. There I was pushing my trolley down the aisle (albeit smugly – SuperFoodie in the making) when I smelt it – this rotten cooking cauliflower type smell.

I thought someone in the back of the shop was cooking something they really shouldn’t be. As I kept pushing my trolley up and down the aisle the pungent smell was still there. In fact, it was getting worse, almost rotten egg-like at this stage. I wondered why management hadn’t intervened in stopping or moving food out of their deli section.

I went to pay. The tellers also smelt it. The smell was hovering.  I asked them to double check my produce and we smelt everything but no pungent smell smelt. I was concerned. This sulphur smell was beginning to make my eyes water and seemed to follow me as I left the shopping complex. By that time I was beginning to doubt my ability to contain gas. I began questioning my ability to do a basic thing such as taking care of my own personal hygiene.

Kale At Home!

When I arrived back home I called my husband over to the car to use his own nose, a very sensitive one at that. We concluded that it was in fact not me. We then went through the shopping bags and eventually found the guilty party. Kale – the supposed health food. Is it a weight loss food because it stinks and you do not want to eat it thereby putting you off food for a while?  Its leaves stared back at us smugly letting off tiny farts. I am sure it was alive.

The hubster scale is that it smells like a wheelbarrow of mouldy dog poop (not verbatim as I prefer to keep my posts child friendly with minimum PG ratings).

That day kale’s super food quality was flying as my hubster threw it straight into the bin.

If you have a recipe or guidelines I will happily listen as I am not sure if kale deserves a second chance.

Featured image: Shutterstock


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