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How to Survive The Soccer World Cup 2018 [A Guide for wives, girlfriends and mothers.]

Survival Guide to World Cup

Last night, we watched the kick off to the FIFA Soccer World Cup 2018 held in Russia. Robbie Williams sang and for me, it will already be one of my favourite World Cups thus far. Now as an avid all round watcher of any big sporting event I realise that some partners may not have my enthusiasm – even though I have no clue on a good day. I thought it was best to write up a useful guide on …

“How to Survive The Soccer World Cup  2018”

Saudi Arabia and Russia met on the field for the opening game. Russian scored 5 goals and I went to bed with the knowledge that Putin would be a very happy President. My prediction would be that there will be no oil deals in the near future with these two countries. I guess it brings in surviving into a whole new context.

As we head into the next few weeks soccer fever will escalate. Potentially so will most wives tempers. I approached 2 friends whose husbands are quite the avid soccer watchers.

What is the Soccer World cup?

The Soccer Word Cup  is a tournament that Countries who are affiliated to the FIFA soccer league have to play qualifiers to gain entry into the World Cup. The host country has an automatic entry and thereafter the teams are whittled down to 31. Making it a total of 32 competing in this World Cup.

Search the web for more information but should you want a quick guide click onto:

Soccer Basics 101

Soccer is known as Football or the Footie.

The game is 90 minutes with it being played in 45 minute halves. There are 11 players including the goalkeeper affectionately called a goalie. The game begins with a coin toss and the winning Captain can either choose to kick off first or  he can choose which direction to score goals.

The goalie is allowed to use his hands to stop the ball only once it has entered the white lined box around the goal area. Throw-ins are also allowed, this is when the player keeps his feet grounded and lugs the ball from behind his head onto the field towards one of his players.

To be a soccer player one must be able to express oneself in a dramatic way. Rolling around in pain at even a slight breeze is often encouraged.

The offside rule – often explained in an obscure and complicated way. It means that the team who wants to shoot for a goal (yes I am almost sure that is a saying) must never be in front of a player who defends and protects their goal posts. Okay, maybe it is complicated to explain.

Phrases to shout/say when watching a game or feigning interest.

I do love watching and I think if you aren’t that interested in the game, perhaps feigning interest may even get you to end up enjoying this World Cup.

  • When a great goal is scored you say something along the lines of it was back of the net. Wow, that goal was back of the net.
  • We were robbed! (usually referred to the referee making terrible decisions against your team in resulting in team losing)
  • What a save! Throw this in when the goalkeeper or one of the defenders stops a goal from happening or deflects the ball.
  • My generic go-to rants and support are. No! (loud and drawn out) Defend, Defend! Strike, Shoot for goals. Score.
  • Just make sure you are not watching highlights of the game when shouting the above.

There has been a WhatsApp text message making its rounds so I do believe it has covered quite a bit so I have typed it out. I do not agree with point 4. Support the cute guys.

“Dear Sweetheart”

The FIFA World Cup begins on the 14th of June. During the period I won’t make a lot of time for you. It’s not that I’m cheating or no longer wish to be with you, but I will have to make every effort to watch every single match.

I will not be attending any social events such as; weddings, funerals, parties etc. during this period so please DO NOT ASK!!!

I know you see it as only 22 men chasing a ball around a meadow but it’s absolutely important that you keep such thoughts to yourself and do not express them during this period…

Here are a few guidelines. (I won’t call them rules although you know they are) to ensure a smooth and argument free month:

  1. Don’t say its just a game because it’s not!
  2. Please limit or avoid talking during matches
  3. The remote control remains with me all the time
  4. You support the team I support. Not the team that has guys you think are cute.
  5. Kindly place your phone on silent
  6. Never, ever walk in front of the TV while I am watching a match!
  7. World Cup is played by countries only so do not ask me which team is Liverpool
  8. Finally, highlights are considered just as important as the actual matches, and they are just as important as the match itself, so yes I must watch the highlights as well!!

Thanks in advance, we will look forward to your cooperation and your utter silence.

Sincerely yours”

Who will I be supporting? Well I am not hedging my bets on Netherlands and USA

And should you find that this has not helped you, you can read this suggestion in one of my other posts.

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